Pregnant woman pre-planned what co-workers should buy from her baby registry

Jessie* is a nurse who works night shifts in a hospital.

She has a co-worker in her unit who is heavily pregnant and will be going on maternity leave.

“She’s pretty but pretty lazy,” admits Jessie on Reddit’s AITA forum.

“Some of my other colleagues thought it would be nice to throw her a baby shower before she went on vacation. We all made $30-$40 each and some people a little more to buy decorations, a card, a cake, pizza, homemade food, pastries, drinks, plates/cups/utensils, etc.

“The girls who put the thing together spent several hours of their time decorating the break room and putting the food together. It was really nice even though I’m not her best friend.”

“I thought it was a joke”

A few days after the party, the pregnant co-worker approached Jessie’s workstation and asked if she had seen her baby registry on Amazon.

“I told her I hadn’t, but it was good she had one,” Jessie explained.

“She then took out her phone and started showing me individual items on the register. She says, “I just want to know who’s buying me what so I can plan the other things I need to get for the baby.” She was going through things like a $70 diaper bag and a $450 stroller.

At first, Jessie thought it was “a joke,” but as her colleague continued to show articles, she soon realized it wasn’t.

She kept asking me if I would buy one of them. It took me completely by surprise. I said to her, ‘It’s great that you have a registry for your family, but I’ve got one for the party, so I’m not going to buy anything else.’

“She was clearly offended by this and told me to let her know if I ‘change my mind’ and left. One of my co-workers who overheard me said that she was a bit too open with her and that I should have been nicer with my delivery because she is pregnant and it’s not a big ask to buy something ‘small’ from the register .

“I’ve heard everyone else say things like, ‘oh that’s good, I’ll look at the log after work’ or something a little nicer.”

But Jessie said she doesn’t feel obligated to buy her co-star anything because she’s already spent $40 of her own money on her shower “out of the goodness of my heart.”

“You don’t have to use the baby registry”

Commenters were quick to back Jessie up, with one person saying: “You have no obligation to go buy her a present on that list. That baby shower thing is like all those stupid events our society pushes us to do just to make sure we overdo it, that’s all!

“Why do people think a woman is pregnant, you can’t put her in her place when she crosses a line?”

Another replied: “Also, pregnant or not… close friend or not… standing in front of ANYONE, showing them your registry for ANY occasion and asking them what they’re going to buy from it is weird. You’ve forfeited your right to a polite response at that point.”

“I feel weird when I tell my sister what I want for my birthday. She. ASK. I can’t imagine doing this stupid thing. my god I get an anxiety attack just thinking about it,” claimed a third.

“NTA. And… open is refreshing. More people should be open. If the recipient’s feelings are hurt, too bad. Being open ends the discussion quickly and without the need for further explanation,” agreed another.